Bad Ass?

At my appointment with Dr. Winter on Tuesday I scheduled the surgery to remove my lonely ovary and fallopian tube for July 18, 2013.  It was a bold step for me and I felt like I might be moving too fast but was also satisfied with myself that I had a date on the calendar.  Then only a few hours later I got a call from the office saying that there was a problem with that date and the next available dates were in August. 

The call came while I was getting a tattoo.  My first.  Months of planning for the perfect tattoo to cover an old scar was finally happening.  I told the Dr.'s scheduler I would call her back.  It's been nearly 3 days and I still haven't called.

There are a lot of reasons not to schedule the surgery right now.  Things are crazy at work and this isn't a good time for me to be away.  In mid September a crucial coworker will have knee replacement surgery and it really wouldn't be a good idea for both of us to be gone at the same time.  I'm thinking I should put it off until December.

There are so many things to consider.  At the appointment Dr. Winter gave me more statistics regarding the surgery (I'm getting pretty tired of statistics).  Because I've had previous abdominal surgery and a history of a bowel obstruction there is a 1 in 3 chance that laparoscopic surgery won't be possible and they will have to open me up and explore (I've done that - not fun).  The big difference is recovery time.  Laparoscopic surgery will mean 2 weeks out of work.  But opening me up will mean 4 weeks out of work.  If I knew I'd be off no more than 2 weeks I'd do it this summer.  BUT when I think of waiting until December I immediately hear HER (my annoying pet hypochondriac),

By the way, it's 4:30am.  I'm sitting at the computer and alternating between flashing hot and freezing cold.  Yes, I did ask the doctor about getting my hormones back.    He said women who have had both preventive surgeries can take hormone replacement.  For a second I thought maybe I can get my bioidentical hormones back.  Then he added one of those "at your age" comments.  He said he usually recommends that women stop hormone replacement at the age of 60.  Looked a my chart and said "oh, you are only 56".  He offered me anti-depressants.  How depressing is that?

Didn't I say in my first blog post that I'd try to keep this positive?  Just so you know, I realize this isn't positive.  Here is a positive - I love my new tattoo.  It's perfectly me and covers my scar beautifully.  My tattoo artist said that I can tell people I'm a "Bad Ass" because I sat for 5 and a half hours.

Okay Bad Ass.  Schedule that surgery!