Nipples?

After my surgery, our first out of town road trip was a visit to see my step-daughters and their families. During the visit a group of women met me in a bedroom so they could see my new boobs which can best be described as "frankenboobs". Our five year old granddaughter, Addy, decided she wanted to see too.

After checking with her Mom to make sure this was okay I flashed my frankenboobs. She was the first to speak and said, "GeeMa, where are your nipples?" I told her the doctors were going to make me some new ones. With that she was out the door and back to playing.

As I gave Addy a goodbye hug that day she whispered in my ear, "GeeMa, I don't like your new boobs with no nipples." That's our Addy. She says exactly what she thinks.

Twice now she has run up to me in a group of people and asked, "GeeMa, do you have your new nipples yet?"

It's a good thing I'm not very shy. She makes me smile every time. I like to tell this story just because it's so cute and so Addy.

Also, the truth is it feeds my determination to see this thing through. When I started this process I didn't even think about the nipples phase of the process. My focus was on the preventive mastectomy, the DIEP flap reconstruction and stopping that BRCA2 mutation. I told myself that at my age the nipples phase wasn't important. Who would see them anyway besides me and my husband.

With the "big surgery" behind me I'm thinking it would be nice to have nipples. Nipples will be the prize at the end of this whole process. The proof that I'm back to normal. Even if only my husband and Addy ever see them.

Five Months In

I survived! I'm glad I did it. No regrets! Even if I had to stop now and not finish the process I'd be glad I did it. It's worth it!

I intended to document a step by step recovery process. Honest, that's what I thought I would do. I could easily have kept a diary of sorts but I didn't. The one thing I did was take pictures of myself about once a week. So what I have is a bunch of pictures and my memory. Just writing what I remember will be terribly dull so I'm glad I didn't document it play by play. This is what I remember.

Overall everything went very well. I went into the hospital early Friday morning (December 13, 2013). I was in surgery for 12 hours which is about average for a double mastectomy and DIEP Flap. I don't remember much about Friday. I think I remember waking up and Denny and Wanda were there. I was in the critical care unit until late on Saturday night, I think. Saturday is pretty fuzzy too. I remember that Cindy and Denny were there with me until I was moved to a regular room. I remember I was catheterized (not comfortable) and that I was checked about every 30 minutes to be sure the blood flow to the flaps was good. 

I came home on Tuesday. That's when I remember the pain starting. The ride was uncomfortable. Every bump hurt. Thanks to all my BRAC sisters we did a pretty good job of preparing for me to come home. I had most of what I needed waiting for me. We had borrowed an electric lounge chair the kind that helps you up to a standing position. I slept in that chair for about 5 weeks. It was a life saver. I was so fortunate to have two people taking care of me for the first week. Dennis and Lisa treated me like a queen. They helped me up and down the stairs, helped me shower and dress, changed my bandages, emptied my drains, feed me, tucked me into my chair and covered me up dozens of times every day. Managed my medication and waited on me hand and foot. They were wonderful.

By the second week at home I was feeling a bit stronger and was able to do a few things like walk up the stairs unsupervised and shower on my own. I don't remember exactly when I got the last drain out but I think it was about 2 weeks out. I went back to work at about 5 weeks. I work a desk job and only worked about 3 - 4 hours for the first two weeks. My husband drove me back and forth.

Overall I recovered well but I had a lot of difficulty healing and it took what seemed like forever. My abdominal incision didn't completely heal until nearly 4 months. My breast incisions didn't heal quickly either. The left side was healed by about 2 and a half months. The right side didn't heal for much longer and I had to pack it until just a few weeks ago (about 4 and a half months). Also during February the right side got infected so I was on antibiotics for awhile. I'm so happy that it is finally healed! This wasn't painful just incredibly frustrating and annoying.  

While I was in the hospital Dr Cober warned me that I would have healing issues. The trouble was caused by the fact the spared skin on my breasts didn't have good blood flow. So a lot of tissue died and I had to heal from the inside out. This also happened in the center of my abdominal incision. Which was probably caused by a lack of blood flow from a previous surgery.

Dr Cober says he can fix the spots that didn't heal quickly and straighten things out. The right side is bigger and higher. So here I go again. That surgery will be on May 20th. And before too long there will be another surgery to fix my abdominal scar and give me some new nipples. I'm so ready to get this done. I think I've done the hard part and I'm on the home stretch.